“So let’s talk about sex.” The words that ruined a relationship, and opened up a heated conversation.
Who would’ve thought “The Bachelorette” was the show that could ignite all this?
But first, let’s back up. Hannah B. is this season’s “The Bachelorette,” the 15th season of the ABC reality dating competition.
She wasn’t what most people expected. The ex-beauty queen was more known for not talking in complete sentences than her sweetness.
She’s proven she’s a grown-ass woman with a voice of conviction, but I’m not sure anyone could’ve predicted what happened.
Viewers are always told, “It’s the most dramatic season yet.” It’s a little bit like the boy who cried wolf this far into the franchise’s tenure. This time, it was kind of true.
We were told the villain of the season was a new type. He came in the form of Luke P.
How was he a villain? Let’s allow his words to paint to a picture:
- Luke S. wanted me to come here and tell you I think he’s here for the right reasons.
- You are not going to mess this up!
- I can understand a slip up, but with all of them?
- Can I just cut you off for a second?
You get the idea.
Obviously, we can all agree that the show’s producers push people to extremes and that everything is highly edited. However, what Luke P. said on this show highlighted some horrible double standards, and brought faith into the conversation like never before.
Luke P. and Hannah B. say they are Christians. Before the season aired, they had Bible verses as part of their Instagram bios. Not that that means anything, per se, but just painting a picture.
Hannah would casually mention wanting to marry a man of faith, but she’s been the first Bachelorette to talk about it on a regular basis, in part because of Luke P.
His cross necklace was visible most of the time. His hometown visit featured a Bible study. He (almost) always claimed he loved Hannah, even saying in episode 2 that he was already falling for her, and said God had brought them together.
On the other side, Luke P. was unliked by all in the house for what was portrayed as manic emotions and lashing-out behavior. Boy, did Hannah get duped.
Cut to fantasy suite week, where yes, many contestants have sex. But not all, especially since it’s the only time they’re away from cameras.
Luke P.’s fantasy suite was aired last, but it’s unclear whether it was actually last or just shown that way.
And that’s when “let’s talk about sex” came in.
Yes, in the Christian faith, it is expected that you wait to be intimate until marriage. But just like many people eat shellfish or swear, not every Christian waits.
And viewers knew Hannah wasn’t a virgin, as she openly talked about sex when she competed on the Bachelor last season. So for Luke to be judgemental about this, after saying he fell in love with Hannah while watching her on TV, doesn’t make sense.
To top it off, he wasn’t a virgin either. So why is it that his come-to-Jesus moment (in the shower, by the way) made his lack of virginity OK and hers not?
Bachelorettes have been slut-shamed before (ex: Kaitlyn Bristowe), but Hannah’s Christian faith brought in another level.
Should we judge Christians at a higher standard? Some say yes, because they choose that faith moniker.
But faith is also about grace. Which Hannah personified in her “Jesus still loves me” catchphrase.
Admittedly, it’s frustrated to see Hannah get slut-shamed just because she also identifies as a Christian. The faith has taken enough hits in today’s society for many reasons, but this, to me, crosses a line.
Women can have sexual desire. It’s part of life. And Hannah was OK with having her desires shown on TV, which is refreshing.
When Hannah got angry at the contestants for fighting and not being honest, it’s because she wanted something real.
She gave grace to Luke P. time and time again, even when his actions weren’t admirable, and to Jed on tonight’s finale after he apologized for his lack of honesty about his past relationships.
Yes, she’s not perfect, a fact she willingly admits. But she wanted to find love, and boy did she try, pushing to have tough conversations even when she struggled to find “clarity.”
What I give producers credit for is at least having these conversations on camera.
My co-workers and I have had long, in-depth conversations about Luke and Hannah. We didn’t always agree, but in general, we believed:
- Luke’s backpedaling was childish.
- Luke showed no forgiveness nor learning from his time on the show.
- Hannah speaks her mind.
- The whole situation was overdone and irritating.
Now, Hannah…she is the Bachelorette. You know she’s going to date, kiss and possibly sleep with multiple guys. And that’s 100% her choice. It’s not just the nature of the show, it’s being a human.
Even as a person of faith, she can make her own decisions. How she works through her faith is HER CHOICE and HER PROCESS. And I appreciate how open she is about her process, struggles and all.
Now does it stink that the one confirmed person she slept with got eliminated after fantasy suites? Yes, because it doesn’t paint the best picture. But it’s still HER CHOICE. And she’s owning up to her decisions, which is more than most can say.
So let’s keep talking about sex. Because we all need grace … and Jesus still loves us.