Tag: reality dating shows

We all know reality shows aren’t really reality. They’re a contrived environment meant for entertainment.

So what happens when dating shows become a joke? TV networks create even more gimmicks.

Monday is the start of season 19 of The Bachelorette, or The Bachelorettes. Two women will be handing out roses the entire season. Bachelor Nation has done this twice before, but never for an entire season.

The two women, Gabby Windey and Rachel Recchia, were dumped by last season’s bachelor at the same time (please cue a massive eye roll for how dumb that was). So far, it seems they’ll make it through the journey without drama between them, but will it be dramatic in other ways?

Bachelor producers certainly want us to think so. This gimmick seems like a huge ploy to attempt to get ratings back up after recent declines.

While Bachelor Nation has been going strong for 20 years, its success rate isn’t good. One Bachelor is married to his winner (though two are married to their runners-up after both pulling switcheroos during the finale), and the most recent two are still in a relationship with the woman they chose.

The Bachelorettes have a slightly higher success rate, with four still married to their pick (another final couple announced their divorce in 2020 after eight years together).

The spinoff Bachelor in Paradise could be deemed the most successful in terms of couples staying together, but there’s not a clear-cut formula to mark success for that show.

The Bachelor and Bachelorette have all but monopolized the dating reality show realm. Its tradition of handing out roses, 1-on-1 and group dates, the limo entrances, the fantasy suites, and travel make it seem like such a fairytale.

And maybe early on it was. Who wouldn’t mind a little humiliation for travel opportunities, a swag bag and the chance to fall in love? (Contestants don’t get paid monetarily, but the lead does.)

But in the age of Tinder and other online dating sites, why bother taking unpaid time off work for a person you don’t know and probably doesn’t live in your state when you can just go online and find hundreds of available options?

In a word: influence.

It’s not just 15 minutes of fame anyone; contestants can buoy a 3- or 4-episode run (or a particularly interesting night-one or villain turn) into an Instagram influence deal and verified account.

Tayshia Adams, one of the more recent Bachelorettes, is an influencer and co-host. She was a phlebotomist. She’s not alone in leaving her profession for “lifestyle expert” work.

The romance doesn’t matter on this show anymore; it’s how you can score celebrity status.

Producers know it too. The dates are almost verbatim every season, and manipulation of contestants is fairly obvious. But people seem more than willing to sign up for humiliation at the chance of mediocre fame (ironically, at least one person each season is called out for not being there for the right reasons, aka finding love).

Reality TV isn’t great, let’s be real. It’s mindless entertainment that allows you to turn your brain off and laugh at other people. It’s watercooler TV, even in the age of remote work.

With as many options as there are these days, you can listen to or watch recaps, which typically boil down a 2-hour, with commercials episode into around 20 minutes, instead of watching the actual episode. You lose some of the drama, but you also save time while still staying in the know.

Because we all see the fame opportunities and Bachelor shows still have social and pop culture traction, other TV networks keep trying to find their own version.

This winter, Fox brought back Joe Millionaire with the subtitle “For Richer or Poorer,” but the bits I saw looked so early 2000s, it was almost gross. And neither couple lasted long past airing.

NBC brought “The Courtship,” which felt like Bridgerton meets Bachelor. The winning couple isn’t together anymore either.

The process doesn’t work. That’s obvious. But people love to watch other people crash and burn. And the fantasy of falling in love still rings so true for people, it’s hard to resist. We hope they work out, but deep down we know it’s unlikely.

I just wish the gimmicks would stop, but that’s what goes viral.

I could stop watching (I prefer the recaps more and more), but it’s hard not to watch to see what wacky date or trick they’ll try next.

This blog was originally published on elkharttruth.com on Jan. 19, 2015.

I hate to admit it, but yes, I do watch ABC’s “The Bachelor.”

I blame it on the fact that there’s not much to watch on Monday nights during the winter.

But it’s one of the silliest, more far-fetched shows I’ve ever watched.

I don’t understand how anyone can truly believe people will actually find true love on this show or its “Bachelorette” counterpart.

Not that I’m an expert on true love or anything, but the premise of the show makes it impossible to find happiness with one person.

No one can whittle down a group of 20-plus people to one soulmate. It just doesn’t make sense. I can barely make a choice when it’s four things.

And then there are all the silly dates. A group date is not six girls and one guy. A group date is a roughly even match of girls and guys. With only one guy, guess where all the focus goes?

Yes, it’s plausible to fall in love quickly. But with one person, not five, which is how these shows play out.

There are “deep” connections made with multiple partners as a season progresses, but how in the world do any of these bachelors truly get to know the women well enough?

There are only about two group dates and one or two one-on-one dates per episode, plus a cocktail party before the rose ceremony. Obviously we don’t see everything that happens, but I doubt it’s enough time to get to know someone well enough to propose to them.

Yes, that’s right, they propose at the end. Which means on the “Bachelorette,” there’s a chance for multiple proposals. And the bachelors who don’t propose at the end are not well-liked among viewers (Except for Juan Pablo, the 2014 bachelor — he was not well-liked for a multitude of reasons, enough so that even producers said they didn’t like him.).

But back to these “dates.” They’re extravagant. I saw an episode where one date included a private Train concert and another was filled with amusement park fun with no one else around.

No wonder all these people “fall in love.” How easy is it to be happy when private jets, travel, concerts and more are involved? But once the cameras stop rolling, it’s back to normal life. Sorry, not sorry, but no more private concerts.

It shouldn’t come as a shock when these couples call off the engagement months after being on the show. Once the dust settles and real life kicks in, it’s hard to face the facts: They don’t know each other that well, and what happened during the show’s taping was just a twisted fairytale.

And just because people are happy on camera doesn’t mean they are really happy. Andi Dorfman, the most recent Bachelorette, and her fiance, Josh Murray, announced they were over days after appearing on the “Bachelor” premiere live event.

Of course they were going to act in love. But in case you didn’t notice, Dorfman repeated the same few phrases over and over, which to me was a sign of hiding something.

I will say it’s fun to watch these people fall for the bachelor or bachelorette. I guess I should say funny, because a lot of times, these people sound so naive and dramatic.

It’s such a trainwreck of a show, with its made-for-TV drama and all the crying and beautiful gowns and suits, that you almost can’t keep yourself from watching.

“The Bachelor” is in its 19th season, while “The Bachelorette” finished season 10 during the summer. But the absurdity keeps going, which leads to lots of quality watercooler moments, if people want to admit they watch.

I appreciate that people believe in love, but “The Bachelor” just isn’t the way to do it.

I should probably just make a drinking game out of watching this show. Any suggestions?